TechChix Thinks Aloud

I just returned from watching the movie Step Up 2, which I thoroughly enjoyed. The dancing was sick. The story was true to life. To thine own self be true, is the lesson of that film. And I think it’s an important lesson we all must learn. My whole life I have prided myself in the fact that no matter how insecure I may have felt at the time, my path has been one forged very differently from many others’.

Oh sure, other people may share similar experiences but I have definitely been one to make my own roads, and not follow the status quo. Lately, I might have been missing that a bit in my life. I see that pattern as we grow older of everyone slowly falling into line, doing the same darn things as they see their peers and parents. To some extent - that ain’t a bad thing. In other ways, its a slow way to die. Did you ever hear the story about the frog that was slowly boiling to death in the pot? If you throw a frog in hot water, it will jump out every time. BUT if you throw a frog in warm water and turn the heat up - it will slowly cook to death before it even realizes its dead.

If you’re asking yourself right about now what that has to do with the title of this post, just wait for it…

So let’s jump back to this rebel thing. Aside from the whole inherent truth of the Bible thing, I’ve always admired the fact that I follow a rebel named Jesus. HE was a trouble maker. Didn’t listen to his peers, didn’t follow the norms. Turned over the tables in the temple. (that was radical stuff at the time)

I leave the theatre in a kind of high-state of being. Feeling strengthened in my choices in life and knowing that my choices every day make me different from the mass of humanity who are like cows…. mooing their way thru life until they arrive at the slaughter. Oh sure, I have to have a 9-to-5 job and all that to pay the bills… for now. But that ain’t gonna be forever.

On the drive home I stop at a light and look over at this woman who is interestingly dressed. Allow me to describe — pink and grey striped shirt, flowered patterned silk jacket, grey skirt, polka dot tights and bright pink sneakers. Interesting. (and somewhat fun, I must admit) Then I hear this loud cackling and laughing from the car next to me. A bunch of teenagers who decide to gang up and shout insults out their window at this poor woman. She confidently ignores them, recognizing their own insecurities about what they see. She represents different, and they don’t like it. And they want to belong.

Side note - does anyone else find it ironic that teenagers try so desperately to separate themselves and be different - yet they make fun of anything different. Or that they strive for independence, but lose sight of the ability to think independently around their peers. (not a generalization, just an observation of mine.)

And here’s my thought. The point of this whole story. Everyone - christians and secular humanists, whoever… they are all alike. The majority see different and think its bad. Either you are not Christian enough, or humble enough. I once wore bright red lipstick to a church and a woman told me I looked like a “hussy”. That was a “christian” church.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’ll be the first to beat someone upside the head with the truth of God’s word and the living proof of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. But GIVE ME A THOUSAND BREAKS. That lipstick incidence was almost 5 years ago, and I still wear bright red lipstick to church on occasion - oh, I forgave her. But I will not be moved.

People talk about being “jesus with skin on” or asking “what would Jesus do?”. That’s not really the point, in my opinion. The point is WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU KNEW GOD WAS WATCHING. Cuz we forget that, don’t we?

Just like those boys in that car, making fun of that woman for being different. We sit in our comfortable little circles - be they Christian or not - and talk about how holy we are, or how poorly she’s dressed, or how tacky that person is during a conversation, or putting up some other kind of front for others. IT’S ALL JUNK.

So let me come right out and admit my sins. Anyone ever want to know the worst about me? I don’t front and I won’t lie. I will always tell you what you DON’T want to hear if I think - as a Sister in Christ - you need to hear it. And I don’t pretend.

So here they are…

- I stupidly compare myself to other woman, constantly comparing their best to my worst. I internally call myself fat, lazy, ugly, and worse.

- I meet other women and I think they MUST be more holy than me cuz they just seem to glow… or have all the answers. And I still struggle to pray every day, let alone read the Bible on a regular basis. Oh sure, I get a few chapters in for a week consistently - then I fall off the wagon for a week.

- I constantly look at others at see how well they sing, or how nicely they dress, or that they always know the right thing to say in a situation, or that they relate better to others.

- I sometimes tell God I wish I had nicer hair, or a slimmer shape, or longer legs, or more talent.

So here I am - letting it all hang out there - and I’m finally growing my own skin. I’m going to ask God to forgive me every time I remember, and I will embrace the differences that make me - “ME”. Growing my own skin means I will seek to always keep foremost in my mind that God is watching, and he keeps score, and he knows whats going on with me at all times.

This post is long, and I don’t care. I never finished college anyway, so you all can probably excuse that as why I may not write as well as you like… but at least I know who I am. And more importantly, I know WHOSE I am.